Your dream starts as soon as you wake up

My name is Priscilla and I'm hot stuff! I was born in Oak Park, Illinois, and I'm now stuck in the hell hole that is goody, goody Mormon Utah. I know lucky me, but if I keep myself around my friends I think I'll survive.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Stupid tech...

Oh my gosh. Banking and Finance is the biggest waste of a credit ever aside from Seminary, but we're not going there. I hate being in this class. Although I have to admit I appreciate the extra hour and a half of sleep. Okay, so today in tech I was late again....oops. And at the end of class Mr. Criman came up to me and told me that we were going to be having our first Tech Olympics meeting at 7 'o' clock tomorrow. I think I might cry I really don't want to have anything to do with Tech this year at the High School. I'm not sure could be that all of the energy that I have, is slowly being drained into this miserable year; with working at the SCERA and all the tech stuff at Mountain View. I really love it, and I know I'm good at it, but there really is only so much a teenager can handle. I think that is the main reason...but at the same time I just reall don't like what it's doing to me. For example, it's not like being a High School student isn't painful enough, I'm now a High School student who never sleeps, eats barely anything and when she does it's always from MAVERICK, and who is trying to do about a thousand things at once...I think being in High School and working for a theater should be illegal. But's not. Another thing that it could be is the people. Like in Tech class. I'm sure it's just my being stupid, but I really don't appreciate the way that any of the little newbies are acting. Not the junior or senior newbies but the actual NEWBIES...the goonie little sohpmores who make me want to just cry. They're so obnoxious. Okay. I'm done. I feel like such a brat when I vent...

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

I hate thinking

"Guess who's going to Shakespeare! Guess who's going to Shakespeare!"
I never thought that words that once filled my life with so much joy would in just a couple of years, come back to make my life miserable. Yesterday, at about four in the afternoon, I got a phone call from, Patricia, my little sister, saying exactly that.
"Guess who's going to Shakespeare! Guess who's going to Shakespeare!"
Once I found out the news, I couldn't control myself. I flew completely off the handle. I kicked, I screamed, I yelled, I swore. And I know that sounds like such an extreme reaction to my little sister going to a three day High School competition, but you just don't realize how much this affects me, how much I have to change in order for this to happen.
Many people have heard the philosophy that there are many different sides to a person, and sad though it is to admit. I am definitely one of those people, not because I want to be, but because different people have met me at different parts of my life, and I don't care how many times you say,"I'll be your friend no matter how you are," or," I love you no matter how you have changed". This summer and this school year so far proves that almost all of you are full of crap. I know I have changed. I'm not stupid, but thanks for implying it anyway. Well, Patricia thinks she knows me, but she only knows what I allow her to see, and that's not a lot. I don't want her to know how I am, because I don't want her to become like me. I always told myself, oh I'll never do this and I'll never do that, but I grew up and my opinions changed and I changed. My personality and my attitude have shown that I am the kind of person who can't just be told what to and what not to do, or when to and when not to do something. I'm the kind of person who learns through experimentation, not always the best method, but not the worst either.
I have so much more to say, but I'm not sure how much more I want to write up right now, so I'm going to go to bed because I have a Shakespeare meeting in the morning...Good night.

Life...I think

Okay, I just had to get on and blog about today! This blog is more to help me try to understand why I'm having a hard time right now, because to be one hundred percent honest I don't know. Ever since school has started I have had a hard time trying to juggle school, with all the AP classes and extracurricular stuff, and work with the hours upon hours of work that you have to put in, or at least I have to put in, in order to feel like I deserve the paycheck (and sometimes...let me rephrase that most of the time I still don't), then I have my family telling me that I'm not home enough and that I'm going to die because I don't eat, I don't sleep, I'm barely getting homework done and I'm always chock (is that how you spell that?) full of caffeine! I never have any time anymore. and as many times as I tell other people that they can't die and that they need sleep and they need food, I never seem to pay attention...I don't know if that's because it's me and I just don't care because I have told myself so many times that I will prove them wrong and I will survive and I will balance it all without going insane or if I am just a hypocrite because it's them that are telling me. Then on top of all of that, you have the drama at the High school (and no I don't mean the program) and the drama at the SCERA. Like I don't have enough of that being in a drama program! ::breathing:: Another thing I noticed was, the other day I was sitting in class and I started thinking about something that was frustrating me then I started writing down names...I could swear I had 25 names on that list and every one of them I just wanted to run over with a train...I used to only have like 5. I don't know if that's because I'm becoming bitchier or if it's just something I'm going through where I need a change of environment or in friends or schedule, but I really do feel bad. Well I had better go actors are starting to show up for rehearsal...Loves!